First of all I want to say, there are no terrible movies. There is always hard work and commitment from directors, actors, producers (etc…) involved, and they have probably been working for a significant amount of time; so it is hard for me to totally discredit someone’s work. But I don’t appreciate laziness, carelessness or cop outs, because a movie should make sense, characters should jump off the screen as they jump off the pages of a great book, the story should slowly unravel, and keep the audience interested and in some way engaged. It should have us at the edge of our seats, touch our hearts, make us giggle, or break out in laughter. If a movie doesn’t manage to do that, I feel like it’s a missed opportunity. 

I have been writing two books for more than 3 years because of this exact reason: I want to deliver all the things I mentioned above, I want to touch my readers, and every time I proof read one of them, I see room for improvement. So I am not only critical with other peoples’ work, but also with myself.

Having said that,  I would rather call this list “Biggest Disappointments of 2016”; none of these movies is actually terrible, but they might have been overhyped on social media, money was invested in the wrong areas or they simply shouldn’t have been made in the first place. But ‘worst movies’ definitely sounds more dramatic, so I will keep it as well! 🙂 So Enjoy my list, starting with the biggest disappointments, ending with the milder ones.

1. Exposed:

Director Gee Malik Linton didn’t want to take credit for this movie, because Lionsgate Premiere edited this movie significantly, without the permission of Linton. The movie, starring Keanu Reeves and Ana de Armas, was originally called “Daughter of God” and its main focus was child abuse, violence towards women, mass incarceration and corruption within the police force. It should have been presented reminiscent of movies like Pan’s Labyrinth and Irreversible, so very surreal and captivating. However, to increase sales, Lionsgate changed the storyline into a generic cop thriller, focusing on Keanu Reeve’s story, which was very little significant. And due to the editing, it didn’t even make sense at times. It’s a shame because Ana de Armas played her part well. The movie also had a few very beautiful cinematographic moments. I wish Linton could release his initial vision.

My Rating: 2,5/10

2. Goat:

Can’t say much about it, because I simply didn’t enjoy it. The acting was okay, the atmosphere was disturbing and made me feel some type of way, but ultimately I don’t even remember what I saw. Like with most of my picks, I was missing depth and character development. Also, the trailer seems way more intense then the actual movie.

What I didn’t get is, that it was based on a book that seemed deeply disturbing, and the part that makes this “true story” so disturbing was totally left out, not even mentioned.

Bottom line is, hazing is terrible, and fraternities are not needed because they create separation and the feeling of being more privileged than others.

If you want to watch an intense thriller about a fraternity, you are better of watching Brotherhood (2011).

My Rating: 3,5/10

3. Blair Witch:

First the audience was teased with a trailer to a movie called The Woods, soon the big reveal: It was actually a sequel to The Blair Witch Project, which tricked a whole lot of people into believing they will be watching a found footage documentary about a group of students that mysteriously disappeared in the woods of Burkittsville after trying to find out the truth about the legend of the Blair Witch.

What we actually fell for in 1999 was a clever marketing strategy that made millions off a productions that cost less than 100,000$.

You would think that with a 5,000,000$ budget they could make a decent sequel. But unfortunately the trailer mislead us again. It seemed like a sad remake that didn’t didn’t deliver on any aspect. I wonder when Hollywood will finally understand that shaky camera movies, a.k.a. mockumenatries and found footage themes should not be produced anymore.

What a disappointment!!

My Rating: 3,5/10

4. God’s Of Egypt:

God’s of Egypt s a giant movie production with great CGI. However, it felt mediocre, and brings nothing new to the table. It’s mindless action – not a bad thing when it comes to movies like Die Hard, starring Bruce Willis.

But the main reason why I was tired of it from the very beginning was the white washing part. We don’t live in a time where Caucasian actors need to tan or wear black  paint, and play a person of color. Hollywood could actually hire people from the region where the movies take place. Very disappointing.

My Rating: 4/10

5. When The Bough Breaks:

Morris Chestnut and Regina Hall? Okay we are in for a treat… NOT! Director Jon Cassar is a TV producer and this movie very much feels like a TV production. Like a lifetime movie we have seen many times before: A couple hires a surrogate who establishes feelings for the husband which soon turn into obsession. The script is weak, some of the events don’t even make sense, and I feel like the writers made use of every cliché possible.

I am one of the few who enjoyed Obsessed with Beyoncé or No Good Deed with Taraji P. Henson, but this one didn’t really get close.

Very disappointing. But Regina and Morris still managed to entertain me. As a one time watch it wouldn’t be a terrible choice.

My Rating: 4,5/10

6. Satanic:

The movie trailer was really interesting and actually gave us a glimpse at the creativity this project was based on. The idea was old but fresh: “Four friends on their way to Coachella stop off in Los Angeles to tour true-crime occult sites, only to encounter a mysterious young runaway who puts them on a terrifying path to ultimate horror.” (source: imdb.com) The cast, lead by Sarah Hyland, was attractive and engaging. However, the story fell really flat after only a few minutes, the characters showed no depth, the script went from hero to zero, and my attention span was challenged once the cliché writing kicked in.
The ending leaves room for interpretation and I actually liked it. But there are too many other things wrong with it. Everything seems rushed and the attention to details is missing.

I might watch this movie again, just because I really wanted to like it and hope I will be able to find a redeeming quality about it.

My Rating: 5/10

7. Barbershop – The Next Cut

They are back, they are spilling the tea, and talk about relationships, society and politics.

The cast is great, even though I was a little bothered by Utkarsh Ambudkar as Raja. I mean, Anthony Anderson, Regina Hall, Common, Ice Cube, Cedric the Entertainer amongst so many other talented comedians from the original cast, what else can you ask for? And Nicki Minaj… well, either you hate her or love her, but she is doing her thing.

What I missed was the heart in this movie. It didn’t touch me, it didn’t make me holla ‘Amen’ or ‘Preach’, ‘Tell em’, or simply laugh out loud.

It was entertained, but I was hoping for so much more.

My Rating: 5/10

8. Secret in Their Eyes:

In this remake of an Argentinian movie of the same name, a team of investigators is torn apart after one of the member’s daughter is brutally murdered. The main suspect is set free and disappears, despite the fact that everyone believes that he is guilty.

Years later the broken team gets back together hoping there is a chance to bring justice after all.

Yet again, the trailer seemed extremely strong, and I was expected to be blown away. I remember I was travelling on a plane, and so excited that it was on their movie list. Unfortunately it felt dragged out and boring. The cast was superb, the chemistry was there, the character development convinced, but the story was not interesting enough, the plot development was extremely slow, no twists or turns, no big surprises except a few towards the end.

It was one of the milder disappointments, but the fact that the trailer seemed more emotional and nerve wrecking still messed this one up for me.

My Rating: 5,5/10

9. Ben Hur:

‘Why??’, was my initial question when this movie about a Jewish prince who was betrayed and sent into slavery, to fight his way back out to take revenge, was released. But I can understand that younger generations might enjoy this movie, if they were actually interested. Unfortunately they are not.

This could have been a hit in the early 2000s when Gladiator, starring Russel Crowe, came out, because it wasn’t terrible. But for someone who knows and appreciates the original from 1959 with Charlton Heston, this is another remake no one needs.                    It ultimately flopped.

My Rating: 5,5/10

10. Don’t Breath:

The extremely hyped movie about 3 teenagers breaking into a blind man’s house to rob him which takes a drastic turn, had me super excited, and I couldn’t wait to see it. But my expectations were too high:

Don’t Breath starts off very promising and full of tension. The cinematography is beautiful and very creative. But once the group enters the house the tension disappears and the clishé moves kick in, such as running away but suddenly stopping to turn around and check if the danger is gone, tripping even if there’s nothing to trip over, starting random conversations when really one should be calling the police or getting the f*** away. We also don’t get to know enough about the characters to care. One of the guys seems like an ass, the other one like a coward; only the girl seems to have an interesting backstory, however, we don’t know enough.

On top of that something quite gross was added for shock value, but it wasn’t strong enough to take the plot to the next level; as we get closer to the end it feels like the writers ran out of ideas.

I feel like a lot of people will be satisfied with Don’t Breath – as the ratings on imdb and rotten tomatoes show- , however, the ones who look for an intelligent horror thriller that is not predictable or filled with clishés might be disappointed.

I don’t regret watching it, but this was probably one of the biggest disappointments for me personally.

My Rating: 5,5/10

Please comment and share. Let me know if you agree or disagree, and what movies you would add to this list.

Published by Elias

Biracial Kid, born in the late 80s. I write short stories, lyrics, books, I love Food, and I watch as many TV shows and movies as I can. My dream is to share my happiness and joy with the world... and to open a luxury hotel. View all posts by Elias