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Worst Movies of 2013

These are either the worst, most horrible, senseless and stupidest movies I have seen, or just huge disappointments that didn’t reach up to the hype that they created. And I am pretty sure this list is going to grow: so keep checking it …oh and there is no ranking, after all, they are all pretty bad.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
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What looked like an intriguing movie turned out to be the biggest confusion of the year. The book must have been very complex, because the director couldn’t point out clearly what the story really was about. I mean, there is a girl, whose mother is taken hostage, and even though she seems terrified and determined to get her back, she has time to built up a romance with a so called shadowhunter, who hunts demons, who then turns out to be her brother. Sounds interesting? Not if there is absolutely no progress for over two hours, and when there is there isn’t really any explanation for what’s happening. It hurts my heart to say that, because I wanted it to be great, but this movie has absolutely no redeeming quality. At the end I just stopped caring and briefly passed out twice… Boy, do I hate those moments, when my eyes get heavy and my head keeps falling down.

After Earth:
After Earth father and Son poster

So the point of the movie was… what was the point again? Oh, yeah: overcoming your inner fears because fear doesn’t exist. Right? Yeah, I don’t really know either.

The Story that Will Smith and his son Jaden came up with was kind of pointless, because, well, there wasn’t enough story to cover a whole movie. But they made one anyway. The result was a visually stunning piece, which I am sure would have been a delight to see in an IMAX theater, however, the movie itself was kind of lame.

Since I like Will Smith and really don’t want to be to hard on him I would say it was a cute father-and son movie project that backfired. But I am sure they had fun making it.

Fact is, this is probably the only movie on this list that is worth watching just because it has really great graphics. But besides that it was, too, a huge disappointment.

Evil Dead:
The-Evil-Dead-2013-GrayTeaser-drop
The highly anticipated remake of the 80’s horror flick, that had build up quite a fan community, failed in almost every angle: Bad storyline, horrible acting, and over-the top gore that was supposed to cover up the non-existing plot and lifeless characters.

It might have led the domestic box office for the opening weekend, but from there it just went down. Evil Dead has impressive gore effects, so I have to applaud the make-up and special effect – crew for that, but a movie needs far more than that, or is it just me who feels this way?

Prank:
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What was meant to be a thought provoking Indie teenage drama turned out to be yet another weird hand-held camera movie that lacks not only in creativity but also in sense and meaning.

For more information about the movie click here

No One Lives:
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Probably the weakest WWE release I have seen so far, even though it came with the most interesting storyline and really good actors. How did they mess this one up?

For more information about the movie click here

InAPPropriate Comedy:
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This was not inappropriate, it was offensive in the worst kind of way. There is nothing positive I can say about this movie, it insulted my brain. Whoever helped creating this movie deserves a spot in the Hall of Shame. I have no clue why someone would even come up with this idea, I am trying to understand why people make those movies, but there was absolutely nothing that got my attention.

And when I watched it, I wasn’t even upset about how meaningless this movie was, I was actually mad at myself, because wasn’t it obvious that this movie is going to a disaster?

The Lone Ranger:
the-lone-ranger-poster

This was one of those movies that made me think Is this really happening? And soon I wondered what it was that was actually happening.

Why did Johnny Depp played a Native American with such a horrible accent? And what was that dead bird doing on his shoulder? Nothing made sense to me. It was so boring that I kept wondering about things that weren’t even important for the movie. I honestly don’t even remember how it ended, but what’s even worse, I do not care at all.

So to sum it all up: Who cares?!

Scary Movie 5:
scary-movie-5-poster01

Well, there is really not much to say about the movie, since the trailer already pretty much summed it up:

talent free writers – or maybe just not inspired-, I want to say bad actors, but I would probably call them unmotivated and bored, and for being a parody it didn’t have any memorable moments. I think I smiled twice, but that’s about it. The previous parts didn’t need any celebrities to make people go see it.

Part 1 will always be my favorite but I also like 2+3, however, from there it got worse and honestly, they should have stopped after part 4. But the world is too hungry for money! Scary Movie 5 is not worth taking anybody’s time.

Spring Breakers:
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Young chicks that run around in bikinis killing people, a Caucasian gangster that acts like he is some wannabe thug, wearing a grill and braids, dialogues that were exchanged with random pseudo poetry that doesn’t make any sense… I know, it doesn’t even sound bad, but it is. I had such high expectations for this movie, but it turned out to be a waste of time! What it was, however, was a commercial success: Through mainly social media this movie built up an extreme hype, and I have to say I was excited about it, too. Spring Breakers is the living proof that as long as you know how to present an idea decently you can have a great success.

For more information about the movie click here

Passion:
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I am not even sure why this movie was made. It is completely meaningless, and it gives the two leading actresses a bad name. And this comes from a director who made movies like Scarface and Mission Impossible.

For more information about the movie click here

Compulsion:
compulsion

I feel sorry for Graham, because she probably had no other choice but say yes to this low-budget production. As I was informed this movie was actually a remake of an Asian movie, which was supposedly much better, so why even make a remake, if the original was fine the way it is?

The only thing I liked about this so-called thriller: it was colorful and had nice food-shots. But I can watch the Food Network for that.

For more information about the movie click here

Tyler Perry’s Temptation – Confessions Of a Marriage Counselor:
Tyler-Perrys-Temptation-Confessions-of-a-Marriage-Counselor-poster-3

I like Tyler Perry but this movie was a huge disappointment. The story had no depth, and even the actors didn’t seem to know what their character’s motivation was, so it ended up in a disaster.

For more information about the movie click here

Sharknado:
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One good actor can’t carry a whole tragedy of a movie. The subplot at the beginning wasn’t connected to the story at all and the actors were highly unmotivated. Now they try to defend themselves by saying it was all meant to be funny. Oh well.

For more information about the movie click here

Many Thanks to my dear blogger friend Teny for bringing some movies to my attention that definitely deserve a spot on this list. 😀 Check out his blog http://moviesofthesoul.wordpress.com/

37 Comments »

  1. Hahahaa at Sharknado. Sad to hear Passion was a bust, you would really expect more from De Palma… Glad I haven’t seen most of them, though! 😀

    • Oh my God, Yes, I will definitely add the Mortal Instrument to it… Major disappointment… The Host I didn’t even want to see, still have to bring up the motivation to watch After Earth and Runner Runner! 😀 Very useful, Thank you! 😀 Oh btw,,,

      • Everyone watching Mortal Instruments in the theatre were like “what are we watching” 😀 Thank God for no more Twilight 😉 But there are these replacements 😀 😀

      • Can I just say I love you for saying “Thank God for no more Twilight” ??? 😀 I was so tired of it!! I was so upset when I heard that the author has another book adaptation coming to the movie theaters, especially since it seemed to be the same thing but with humans in the future… Thank God it flopped. I was actually looking forward to see TMI but I was the same way… like, “What is that??”

      • Yes, and the next might be that House of Night series with sixteen year old girls and vampires (12 books with plans of movie adaptations) – they have found a worthy successor of nonsense in Mortal Instruments, and only its failure can delay the new upcoming teen girl supernaturals 😀 Meyer, Claire & Cast are destroying all my hopes about American Literature 😀 The most interesting part may be that among these terrible fantasies, a meaningless Twilight 1 might be the best 😉

      • I shall look forward to it 😀
        The depression of reading books like Twilight made me even start a fiction blog, you know 😉

      • I love this one, especially with Mortal Instruments on the top – you missed an S in the end of the title, but who cares as far as that movie is concerned 😉

        And I bet that the brother twist is inspired from some Indian movie of 1970s or 1980s 😉

  2. Have to admit only seen a couple of films on that list, Sharknado was awful, I did see the new Evil Dead film, I didn’t mind that, but it still wasn’t a patch on the original.

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